Honestly, I was so down I took my pill early in the evening, as soon as my prescription was filled. Probably around 5pm. I can’t say I noticed much of a difference, but I did shower and wash my face, which I may not have done because when I’m depressed I often wait until I feel really gross.
I smiled. For no reason at all other than I felt positive. The morning was great, but by the afternoon I could feel that I was coming down. I’m
anxious eager to increase the dose, but I will 100% do things properly and wait until next Monday.
I woke up and didn’t feel like garbage. I didn’t have to be up until 7:30 today, but I was up around 6. I had coffee, watched some YouTube and spent some time with my family. My focus is still pretty bad, though. I wasted a lot of time today. I will eventually go back and have them re-diagnose me (my last doctor was a flake and vanished) with ADD so that we can try something to help me there as well.
The initial boost is fading a little bit. I feel much more mellow and even. Now that this feeling is becoming more normal and I’m not so shocked to be feeling good for no reason, I’m starting to notice that things are starting to get to me a little more. Also, the last few of days have been relatively stressful and frustrating, so that probably isn’t helping my overall wellbeing.
The biggest thing that I’ve noticed, though, is my general appreciation of my body that I never had before. I still know I want to lose weight, but every time I go to the washroom and I look in the mirror I see myself and where I used to see nothing but fat… I think -I look okay-. I feel good about myself, and that is an amazing feeling.
Today was pretty positive. I opened up to a friend about the extent of my problems. It wasn’t as scary as I had always made it out to be and she was really supportive. It feels good to be building a solid support network.
Being bored and lonely still gets to me. I spent the day wandering the mall, and it kept me well, but once I got home I got bored and it my mood got quite heavy. It would be nice if I had a good hobby or a job to do. I had some sewing to do, but that gets too frustrating because I often make mistakes.
I went for a really long walk and overall felt pretty good. Still looking forward to upping my dose tomorrow, though. I acquired a couple of pills used for ADD in the evening. I had a big project to get finished and I didn’t think I would be able to get it all done. I finished everything, however, I do regret taking medication that is amphetamine-based in the evening. I was completely unable to sleep once I finished at 3AM, and hat to give up and take the second one the next morning so that I would have a chance at surviving Monday.
Overall, I think I had a good start, aside from the few instances of self-sabotaging behaviour. I’m feeling pretty positive so far, and have not experienced any side effects that I can name. I’ll update my progress again next week.